#5 - Living the Cross Centered Life

The first time I read this book, I was surprised at how legalistic I was concerning my own salvation. It was eye opening to consider that I felt better about myself depending on my own "good" actions or worse for a "bad" day (self-condemnation). It started a pursuit to dive deeper into living by faith (as Romans 1:17 puts it) and not by my own works.After I finished re-reading this book last week, I realized that I feel a lot more comfortable facing my own sins. Of course, I still have a TON of pride and easily fall back into thinking I'm pretty good at a variety of things. But previously, I would feel a lot more shame and embarrassment at talking about my sin or heart idols. There was a tension within where I knew I struggled with a lot of specific sins, and I knew I should admit that for transparency and accountability. But I also felt like I could do better; I should do better; I must do better. And when I did, I would be better; a better Christian, a better husband, a better father.

That tension was a difficult burden to bear. But now, I feel so much more free. My sins are bigger than ever from my perspective. I have come to realize am a worse sinner now than I thought I was 5 years ago. But that's exactly why Jesus died, because of my heinous and wretched sinfulness. It's so liberating to know that I cannot and will not be good enough, ever. In fact, as I get older, I'm going to continue to learn that I am worse than I thought I was.

That makes the cross of Jesus Christ that much more amazing. That makes the holiness, justice, love and mercy of God that much more incomprehensible. That makes loving God and obeying Him easy and not burdensome, joyful and not difficult, pleasant and not arduous. C. J. Mahaney's book, Living the Cross Centered Life has helped me along in this life long process. Here are a few gems:

• Our common tendency is to habitually begin with the internal, the subjective, the experiential, then use those feelings and impressions to determine what we'll accept as being objective fact. We let our feelings tell us what's true, instead of letting the truth transform our feelings.
• D. Martin Lloyd-Jones once issued the warning, 'Avoid the mistake of concentrating overmuch upon your feelings. Above all, avoid the terrible error of making them central.'
• Who killed Jesus? God did. God the Father was ultimately responsible for the death of His Son. God is telling us, 'I purposefully determined to crush My Son with My wrath - for your sins, as your substitute.' Why? Because I love you.
• The Christian who desires to live a cross centered life will regularly face his or her own depravity and the seriousness of personal sin, and he or she will do it squarely and unflinchingly. Our sinfulness is a reality. But the reality of the death and resurrection of Jesus for the forgiveness of sin is even greater.
• Very small errors in a person's understanding of the gospel seemed to result in very big problems in that person's life.

It is amazing how a mis-application of the Gospel leads to all sorts of problems in life. The Gospel is the key to work relationships, church relationships, husbands and wives, parenting - you name it. I highly recommend this book.