Friday, April 1, 2016
Snow days
Living in Benicia, we obviously don't see much snow. But in other parts of CA, there's a ton! Especially this winter. So we decided to take a trip up north to visit our good friends the Paytons.
Emery especially has been wanting to play in the snow, and she got her wish. Snow was falling with a bunch already on the ground.
She also got to hang with her good friend Hannah. Finally! Some girl time for the both of them!
Nothing like some fort building girl bonding time.
That's Matt tucked away in all that jacket. He started with a small snow ball...
Then he got it a little bigger...
And then it got even bigger...he looks kinda lonely way out there, doesn't he?
Then Micah came over to help out. I think the boys were building their own bunker under the trees.
At some point, everyone might have attacked Andrew.
All in all, it was a GREAT trip. Tons of snow and tons of fun. Thanks for having us Payton family!
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Ephesians 4:29-32
29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Psalm 86:11
This one's a lot shorter than Psalm 103. And even though Matt froze on this one, he's good at memorizing too. He's got Psalm 103 down also.
Psalm 86:11 Teach me Your way, O Lord. I will walk in Your truth. Unite my heart to fear Your name.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Psalm 103
Bless the Lord indeed!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
3 Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
4 Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
5 Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
3 Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
4 Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
5 Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
6 The Lord performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
7 He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.
8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
9 He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
13 Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
14 For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
7 He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.
8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
9 He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
13 Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
14 For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
16 When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.
17 But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,
18 To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
16 When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.
17 But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,
18 To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.
19 The Lord has established His throne in the heavens,
And His sovereignty rules over all.
20 Bless the Lord, you His angels,
Mighty in strength, who perform His word,
Obeying the voice of His word!
21 Bless the Lord, all you His hosts,
You who serve Him, doing His will.
22 Bless the Lord, all you works of His,
In all places of His dominion;
Bless the Lord, O my soul!
And His sovereignty rules over all.
20 Bless the Lord, you His angels,
Mighty in strength, who perform His word,
Obeying the voice of His word!
21 Bless the Lord, all you His hosts,
You who serve Him, doing His will.
22 Bless the Lord, all you works of His,
In all places of His dominion;
Bless the Lord, O my soul!
Monday, February 29, 2016
1001
This post marks my 1,001st blog post. I started this blog almost 8 years ago as we were heading off to Kansas to begin FT ministry there. This is somewhat of a milestone as 1,000 blog posts is a lot. And 8 years ago, I would not have suspected how my life would have turned out. Back then, I was full of hope and excitement. Hope for the future. Excitement to use my life for whatever God would have me do, pouring out my life for His glory.
Today, I look back with great sadness. The wounds are less painful. The memories less haunting. But the scars remain. The pain is still deep. It's like a chill in my bones that never leaves. In one sense, it was a great experience. I loved FT ministry. I loved everything about it. I loved learning and studying deeper about the greatness of God. I loved equipping the saints. I loved shepherding His flock. I loved discipling. I loved counseling. I loved organizing and leading ministry. I loved being a pastor of God's church and the special bond that results with God's people. My high expectations were exceeded. I am so thankful that I had this opportunity to pour out my life for God and for others. The relationships we built are some of the best I've ever had. The way so many stood by us even during the darkest of times, doesn't cease to amaze me. We are truly blessed.
On another level, I think I have come to some level of forgiveness towards others and peace within myself. I see in many ways how God used this suffering for my good, for my holiness, for my complete dependence on Him, for the Lord to show Himself greater and more incomprehensible than ever before. I see more my nothingness, my sinfulness, my lowliness before His magnificent sovereignty.
But I am left with the question that I have been wondering for 3 years - what now? Where do I go from here? In my first blog post, I quoted missionary David Brainerd, "Oh, that I might be a flaming fire in the service of the Lord. Here I am, Lord, send me; send me to the ends of the earth...send me from all that is called earthly comfort; send me even to death itself if it be but in Thy service and to promote Thy Kingdom." That was my prayer. That was my hope. That was my expectation. And yet, it appears as if God sent me...back home. He sent me back to CA, back to earthly comfort, back to material wealth, and back to what?
It has been a strange journey, these past 3 years. God rescued us and physically blessed us beyond what I thought possible. I should be grateful. I still feel guilty that I'm not more thankful. The boys and girl are thriving - spiritually, physically, emotionally. I am so thankful for what God has been doing in them. I have made a commitment to give them stability in these years (after so much instability) and see them graduate HS in Benicia. They are responding well to this stability in our lives for the first time in a long time. God is blessing Sandy with some much needed rest and peace during this time as well. I will not sacrifice the boys and girl or my wife for my love for FT ministry. I think of poor Mrs. Carey's madness. As great as William Carey's legacy is, and it is great what God did through him, he sacrificed her sanity to do God's work in India.
So I am finding a great paradox in my life. I left CA thinking that I would melt my personal will to do God's work in going out to spend my life in service to Him. As Jeremiah Burroughs wrote, "A gracious heart [a Christian] is contented by the melting of his will and desires into God's will and desires." Little did I realize, that melting my will meant NOT serving Him more, NOT studying God's Word more, NOT sacrificing my earthly comforts for Him more, NOT going out to do His work. And while I do serve Him now, and I do study God's Word, and I do sacrifice some of my earthly comforts, it's just not the same thing. It is hard to be content with doing less for God's kingdom, that is less in terms of quantity and quite possible quality too. But that is God's sovereign will for me.
Who knows what the future holds? Thankfully God does. He is incomprehensible. His ways are far higher than my ways. I wonder if this is my destiny and that sadness will pervade my life until Christ returns to remove all mourning and pain. I wonder if I will accept my role with joy at some point sooner rather than later. I wonder if someday, I will truly feel this in my heart as God's goodness and blessing as His Word promises and not just think it in my head. I don't know. But I fight on.
Today, I look back with great sadness. The wounds are less painful. The memories less haunting. But the scars remain. The pain is still deep. It's like a chill in my bones that never leaves. In one sense, it was a great experience. I loved FT ministry. I loved everything about it. I loved learning and studying deeper about the greatness of God. I loved equipping the saints. I loved shepherding His flock. I loved discipling. I loved counseling. I loved organizing and leading ministry. I loved being a pastor of God's church and the special bond that results with God's people. My high expectations were exceeded. I am so thankful that I had this opportunity to pour out my life for God and for others. The relationships we built are some of the best I've ever had. The way so many stood by us even during the darkest of times, doesn't cease to amaze me. We are truly blessed.
On another level, I think I have come to some level of forgiveness towards others and peace within myself. I see in many ways how God used this suffering for my good, for my holiness, for my complete dependence on Him, for the Lord to show Himself greater and more incomprehensible than ever before. I see more my nothingness, my sinfulness, my lowliness before His magnificent sovereignty.
But I am left with the question that I have been wondering for 3 years - what now? Where do I go from here? In my first blog post, I quoted missionary David Brainerd, "Oh, that I might be a flaming fire in the service of the Lord. Here I am, Lord, send me; send me to the ends of the earth...send me from all that is called earthly comfort; send me even to death itself if it be but in Thy service and to promote Thy Kingdom." That was my prayer. That was my hope. That was my expectation. And yet, it appears as if God sent me...back home. He sent me back to CA, back to earthly comfort, back to material wealth, and back to what?
It has been a strange journey, these past 3 years. God rescued us and physically blessed us beyond what I thought possible. I should be grateful. I still feel guilty that I'm not more thankful. The boys and girl are thriving - spiritually, physically, emotionally. I am so thankful for what God has been doing in them. I have made a commitment to give them stability in these years (after so much instability) and see them graduate HS in Benicia. They are responding well to this stability in our lives for the first time in a long time. God is blessing Sandy with some much needed rest and peace during this time as well. I will not sacrifice the boys and girl or my wife for my love for FT ministry. I think of poor Mrs. Carey's madness. As great as William Carey's legacy is, and it is great what God did through him, he sacrificed her sanity to do God's work in India.
So I am finding a great paradox in my life. I left CA thinking that I would melt my personal will to do God's work in going out to spend my life in service to Him. As Jeremiah Burroughs wrote, "A gracious heart [a Christian] is contented by the melting of his will and desires into God's will and desires." Little did I realize, that melting my will meant NOT serving Him more, NOT studying God's Word more, NOT sacrificing my earthly comforts for Him more, NOT going out to do His work. And while I do serve Him now, and I do study God's Word, and I do sacrifice some of my earthly comforts, it's just not the same thing. It is hard to be content with doing less for God's kingdom, that is less in terms of quantity and quite possible quality too. But that is God's sovereign will for me.
Who knows what the future holds? Thankfully God does. He is incomprehensible. His ways are far higher than my ways. I wonder if this is my destiny and that sadness will pervade my life until Christ returns to remove all mourning and pain. I wonder if I will accept my role with joy at some point sooner rather than later. I wonder if someday, I will truly feel this in my heart as God's goodness and blessing as His Word promises and not just think it in my head. I don't know. But I fight on.
Friday, February 19, 2016
Romans 15:1-2
For quite some time, I have been working with the boys and girl to build up their knowledge of Scripture and to have a high view of the magnificence of God. My hope is that they will see their brokenness before a holy and perfect God and cling to Christ for mercy and grace, not see themselves as "good" people who are Pharisaically better than others. They have internalized moral standards and are pretty consistent in not seeking after worldly friends and pleasures. BUT developing that compassionate, kind, love for others is not an easy endeavor. We'll keep working on it...
Romans 15:1-2
Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. 2 Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.
Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. 2 Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Recital
Emery had her first violin recital!
Her violin teacher and Sandy held a joint recital with Sandy's piano students. Emery played two songs. The first song was "Perpetual Motion" with mom accompanying.
The second was a piano duet of Pachelbel's Canon in D. One of my favorites. Nice job Emery and Mia!
Her violin teacher and Sandy held a joint recital with Sandy's piano students. Emery played two songs. The first song was "Perpetual Motion" with mom accompanying.
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